In the previous post, Introducing the grandparents to your baby, we looked at the pros and cons of grandparents. Now...
In the previous post, Introducing the grandparents to your baby, we looked at the pros and cons of grandparents. Now we'll look at some ways to cope with difficult grandparent situations.


1) Dealing with bad advice: If your mother offers advice you know is outdated, such as, babies should sleep on their tummies, don't fight with her, simply give her information. Say, "Mom, I know this is what doctors in your day said, but now SIDS studies show that back sleeping is much safer" and direct her to a helpful SIDS reading material. Your mom may not listen, but you presented a good argument vs. simply arguing. 2) Dealing with bad gifts: Take a photo of your baby dressed in or laying nearby the bad gift. Don't discuss it, just make sure it looks like you used it at one point (hence the photo). Unless your parents live with you they'll never know you never use their gift, and will be delighted with the photo. 3) Dealing with negative judgment: My motto is ignore, smile, and nod. That pretty much takes care of annoying negative judgments from anyone when it comes to your baby. Don't let the negatives make you feel bad. Trust me, I've been there, and it's hard, REALLY hard when your mother-in-law, or whoever is riding your parenting case all the time. However, eventually you will learn to tune that negative energy out. What's key is to follow your own style, and trust in your parenting abilities, which comes with time. Until then know that we all get judged on our parenting choices by someone; you're not alone, and the rest of us nice mamas know you can do it. You are a good parent - no matter how often those grandparents say you're not. If the negative judgments are seriously out of hand, you do have the option of saying to the grandparent, "You know, I know I'm new at this parenting gig, and I'm learning as I go, and trying my best. When you continually tell me I'm doing everything wrong, it really stresses me out. Maybe we should take a little break from our visits for a while, so I can relax." The break thing will get many grandparents to stop cold, because they want to be around your baby. 4) Dealing with inflexible grandparents: If your mom thinks she knows what's best and won't budge, it's your job as the parent to make the right call. Example; your mother will not budge on tummy sleeping (using the SIDS example from above). That's very dangerous for your baby, and if she won't budge, she can't babysit - period! This is not one of those situations you can handle delicately because your baby's safety comes way before good manners. My own mother-in-law was a total nightmare, and a lot of the things she did were not safe for my son. I had to make a tough decision - she never ever could be alone with him. I mean, this is a woman who'd leave my 1 1/2 year old child alone in a room without closing the baby gate at the top of a steep flight of stairs. Yeah it wasn't a nice decision on my part, but frankly nice is the least of my concerns. My son's safety was and will always be more important to me than my mother-in-laws feelings. How do you deal with some of the above situations?

Tags: dealing with bad baby advice grandparents grandparents and new babies meeting the grandparents your parents and baby

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