When you have a new baby, the grandparents eagerly line up to meet your little bundle of joy. There are...
When you have a new baby, the grandparents eagerly line up to meet your little bundle of joy. There are pros and cons to this... Grandparent pros:  They've been there and can sometimes offer good baby raising advice. Gifts, gifts, and more gifts. Oh, and did I mention the gifts! Free babysitting!!! Cute pictures - nothing is more adorable than grandparent & baby pictures. Look:


Of course with the pros comes the cons: They've been there and they think they can offer a large booklet's worth of good baby raising advice. Sadly, it's not always true. Baby raising has changed since your parents were new parents. We don't place babies on their tummy to sleep, give alcohol to teething babies, or go sans car seats. Lots of times grandparents can be stuck in the old school ways of parenting, and won't budge. Judgment will be given: There's always a judgment call that grandparents make. If you're lucky they'll judge you by thinking, "Wow, my daughter is a new mama; she'll feel things out her own way, and do just fine!" However, most of my mama friends (and me) have run into this kind of grandparent judgement from at least one parent or parent-in-law: "Wow, my daughter is a new mama, and she's got NO CLUE." Then said parent will make sure you know this with phrases like:
  • You're not holding that baby right!
  • That baby needs a hat.
  • You're not taking him out in this weather are you?
  • When I was a parent, I'd NEVER _________ (insert whatever you happen to be doing at the moment).
  • Well, when I was a new parent I worked, breastfed, cleaned the house, and was still a terrific spouse - it was NO trouble at all. It was EASY!
Gifts, gifts, and more gifts. This is a pro yes, however, in my experience grandparents come in two flavors - one type gives the perfect gifts and the other gives you things like WAY overly hot knitted suits, neon orange and pink homemade baby quilts, and dresses that would shock even the most lackluster of fashion experts. As a bonus, the grandparents giving the worst gifts are usually the ones who get the most upset when you don't like them. Free babysitting. Another pro, UNLESS you do have parents stuck on old parenting rules (see above). Then it can not only be nerve wracking to leave your baby with your parents, but also you may offend your parents by saying so. Coming up, we'll look at how to deal with grandparent dynamics surrounding these pros and cons. What pros and cons have you noticed with your baby's grandparents?

Tags: grandparents grandparents and new babies meeting the grandparents your parents and baby

recommended for you