Pregnancy & Baby Index: Experts and Columnists: Ann Douglas: Postpartum: Sex after pregnancy

Sex after pregnancy

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Ann Douglas

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The question:

I had my six-week checkup today. My doctor gave me the go-ahead to start having intercourse again, but frankly, I couldn't care less if I ever have sex again! Is there something wrong with me?

Ann answers:
Contrary to popular belief, it's not unusual to have your libido nosedive for many weeks -- even months -- after the birth of a baby. In fact, a University of Wisconsin study of 570 new parents found that it takes bottlefeeding parents about seven weeks and breastfeeding parents about eight weeks to start having sexual intercourse again. The researchers involved in this study also found that only 17 percent of couples who were surveyed reported having sex during month after childbirth, so, believe it or not, you're part of the silent majority!

It's not hard to figure out why there's so little action in the bedroom during the early weeks of parenthood: not only are new mothers likely to be coping with sleep deprivation and a smorgasbord of postpartum aches and pains. They may want to hold off on having intercourse until after they've received reassurance from their doctor or midwife that they are healing properly after the delivery.

Some new mothers also worry that their partner may no longer find them attractive, given the stretch marks, extra pounds and other "souvenirs" they may have acquired during your pregnancy. In most cases, fathers accept -- even celebrate -- the changes that their partners' bodies have experienced as a result of giving birth. As one of the fathers I interviewed for The Mother of All Baby Books noted, "My wife bears the scars of giving life to my child -- something that just makes me love her all the more."

Hope this helps to reassure you that what you're experiencing is perfectly normal.

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About the author: Ann Douglas is an award-winning pregnancy and parenting author. She is the author of The Mother of All Pregnancy Books, The Mother of All Baby Books, The Mother of All Toddler Books, The Mother of All Parenting Books, and The Mother of All Pregnancy Organizers (all part of the internationally best-selling The Mother of All® Books series), as well as the two debut titles in the newly launched The Mother of All Solutions series: Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler and Preschooler: The Ultimate No-Worry Approach for Each Age and Stage (Mother of All Solutions) , and Mealtime Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler and Preschooler, Part of The Mother of All Solutions series: The Ultimate No-Worry Approach for Each Age and Stage (Mother of All Solutions). She is also the co-author of other highly popular titles in the pregnancy and parenting category, including The unofficial Guide to Having a Baby and Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy after Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss (both co-authored with John R. Sussman, MD).