Your husband and breastfeeding
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Armin Brott
Every dad needs support, encouragement, information, confidence and tools to help him be as involved as he possibly can with his new family. Our fatherhood expert, Armin Brott, author of The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be and The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First Year, has advice for your growing family!
 
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Moms: You know all about how great breastfeeding is, right? That it's free, that it never runs out, and that breastfed babies' diapers don't stink are major advantages. But there's a lot more. It gives you and your child a great opportunity to bond. It's also the perfect blend of nutrients for the baby. Breastfed kids have a much lower chance than formula-fed kids of developing food allergies, respiratory- and gastrointestinal illnesses, or of becoming obese as adults. It may also transmit your immunity to certain diseases on to the baby. Pretty much everyone agrees that you should breastfeed for at least a year if you can.
Odd as it sounds, you and your child aren't the only ones affected by your decision to breastfeed -- your husband is too. And getting him involved is critical. A number of studies have shown that when dads support and encourage breastfeeding, their wives are more interested in doing it, are a lot more successful and do it for longer.
Before their babies are born, nearly all expectant fathers feel that breastfeeding is the best way to feed a baby and that their partners should do so as long as possible. After the baby comes, though, a lot of new fathers have a change of heart. It's not that they don't support breastfeeding -- they still think it's the best thing for everyone concerned. It's just that the whole thing makes them feel left out.
Breastfeeding "perpetuates the exclusive relationship the mother and infant experienced during pregnancy," says Dr Pamela Jordan, one of the few researchers ever to explore the effects of breastfeeding on men. As a result, your breastfeeding-spectator husband might be feeling some or all of the following:
- A fear that it's going harder to bond and develop a relationship with his child
- A sense of inadequacy, that nothing he could ever do could ever compete with your breasts
- A slight feeling of resentment toward the baby who has "come between" him and you
- A sense of relief when the baby is weaned because he'll finally have a chance to catch up
- A sense that because you can breastfeed you somehow possess the knowledge and skills that make you a naturally better parent (which means, of course, that he's just not suited for the job)
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About the author: 
Hailed by Time Magazine as "the superdad's superdad," Armin Brott has written or co-written six critically acclaimed, groundbreaking books on fatherhood. His articles have appeared in The New York Times Magazine, Newsweek, American Baby, Parenting, Child, Men's Health, The Washington Post and dozens of other major publications. Armin has been a guest on hundreds of radio and television shows, including Today, CBS Overnight, Fox News, and Politically Incorrect, and his work on fatherhood has been featured in such places as Glamour, Time, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, Newsday, and many others. He's also the host of "Positive Parenting," a weekly radio program which airs live in the San Francisco Bay Area and is also available on the Web. A father of three, he lives in Oakland, California. You can contact him at Armin@MrDad.com and read more articles here!
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