Maybe I Don't Think Pregnancy Is Beautiful

Sure, lots of people say pregnancy is beautiful. But, there's one thing I know about it: I'm not going to miss it.

Exhausted pregnant woman |

Photo credit: PhotoAlto/Anne-Sophie Bost/PhotoAlto Agency RF Collections/Getty Images

I gave birth to my fourth child precisely nine days ago, almost to the minute, in fact.

And while admittedly I am still a little shell-shocked over her literal overnight appearance at three weeks early, I also have to confess — I am so happy to be done being pregnant. I won't discount the blessing of an easy time getting pregnant or four relatively uncomplicated pregnancies, but can I also just say that I won't miss any of these things about being pregnant?

Approximately 807 pillow "friends"

I say "friends" with dripping sarcasm, of course, as would my husband, who even took to sleeping on the couch in my last few weeks, so intense was his hatred for my bedmates. Hey, it's not like I enjoyed the darn things, but there was literally no other way I could even form a semblance of sleep without my trusty, fluffy sidekicks.

Boobs so big they scared me

I'm breastfeeding, so while still generously proportioned, my chest has finally gone down in size to resemble somewhat normal breasts again. Honestly, I was getting a little tired of wondering if National Geographic was going to pop out of my garden and starting snapping away at my epic endowments.

Public humiliation 24-7

I was tempted to become a hermit during the last trimester of this pregnancy. I had a condition called polyhydramnios, which means I had crazy large amounts of extra amniotic fluid for some unknown reason, along with a large baby (she was 8 pounds, 8 ounces at 37 weeks when I gave birth), all of which meant that basically, from week 30 on, I looked more than ready to pop. Each and every trip out in public, especially if I was also carting along my other three young children, had to be carefully weighed by asking, "How much do I really need X item?" and, "How many rude comments can I tolerate today?" When you're pregnant — especially hugely pregnant — everyone's a critic.

Pain every step of the way

While it probably had a lot to do with my giant size this time around, I found pregnancy to be so painful. My hips popped out of their sockets about every other day, I could barely walk with the sciatic nerve back pain and those darn Braxton Hicks kicked into high gear anytime I even considered sitting down. There's no rest for the pregnant weary.

The worry

Pregnancy is a time in a woman's life that is supposed to be one of peace and contentment, peppered with glowing baby bump updates on Instagram, but I was plagued with worry. And let's be honest — while the majority of births and pregnancies go along just fine, there is a lot to worry about. Obviously, parenthood means a lifetime of worry alongside the joy, but part of me is deeply relieved to know that, at the very least, we got through the physical feat of labor and birth just fine. Well, one of us did anyways.

More on pregnancy

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Here's another reason to stop feeling guilty about your epidural


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