I've decided that the month of August brought one challenge after another, making me one pretty stressed out momma.
My in-laws just left after a week visit and after Jackson's injury and the news about CMV I was really looking forward to getting back into a groove this week. However, I guess my body has decided it has had enough and I've come down with a cold. So I'm spending this Labor Day Weekend taking the vitamins that I can to try to help fight this thing off. What luck huh. I kind of feel like I keep getting hit while I'm down. But I know this is the most important time to turn to God. Sometimes I forget that and just want to have a little pity party, but I'm trying not to.
To summarize what has happened with the CMV. I've repeatedly been told by other doctors I've consulted with that I need the titers test down where it measures how high or strong the virus is by detecting how strong the antibodies are in my system.
In the process of my trying to get an OB change it appears that my health insurance company spoke with the specialist that first told me he was concerned by my blood test. When I called to have him order the follow up blood test, his nurse said he won't do it because I won't be following my pregnancy all the way through with them. The only thing I can figure is that someone from the health insurance company called them because they had asked for his number.
I seriously hung up feeling like no one cares about the health of my baby. I did wind up getting my doctor to approve the test the next day so that was good news. However, when I got the results back they did the wrong test again. This time he wrote in bold letters that it should be with TITERS, but again it was simply a qualitative test showing positive or negative. I'm still positive, but still don't know how strong my antibodies are.
A friend whose also going through some problems with her pregnancy referred me to a Holistic Midwife so I did go see her in the interim. She gave me some good advice about increasing certain vitamins to help the baby fight anything off if it has passed to her. At this point I'll do anything I can to just do something to help her.
After that visit I was with Jackson at Whole Foods trying to find the specific vitamins she suggested, like this Calcium, Magnesium powder I'm supposed to drink mixed in water like a tea at night. I said something out loud I guess to the extent of feeling frustrated. I was having trouble finding everything and again after all that has happened was really feeling like I'm just floating out here without anyone helping me. So Jackson said, "What's wrong Mommy?" I said, "Oh, honey, I can't get anyone to help me." His response, "Mommy, you need to help yourself." Isn't that the truth? Out of the mouths of babes as they say...there's such wisdom in their little minds.
In the end, the good news is that the medical group did approve the switch to the new OB I want, even though they denied it for September. My request was too late in the month, so I have to wait until October 5th to see her. I can't wait until that happens just so I can know I'm getting the tests I need and will know I'm in good hands for the delivery.
All of this honestly makes me realize how lucky I was with Jackson that everything went so smoothly.
Speaking of Jackson, my sweetheart of an angel baby. He is officially potty trained. Since I wrote last weeks journal he has consistently been dry in his big boy underwear and he does both #1 and #2 on the potty. Whoo Hoooo!!! I'm seriously rejoicing over this small, yet really not significant milestone. Not only that, but last night he had his first completely dry night. I'm still putting nighttime diapers on him. I was not about to take on that challenge yet, but he woke up at 3 a.m. last night yelling out, "Daddy come, Daddy come." My husband is a pretty heavy sleeper so since I heard him I went in there. He said, "I have to go pee pee." It had been 8 hours since he'd been put in bed and his diaper was dry. He went forever and then when he woke in the morning he said he had to go and again his diaper was dry. That was an unexpected treat. Again, I know it may seem minor, but I'm finding joy in this accomplishment of his. I told my husband, "Do you realize how much money we'll save on diapers...(pause)....for a little while." :)
We also had his home visit with his new preschool teachers. They come over before school starts to meet each of their students in their home environment. It was really nice. Jackson loved it and later that day kept telling strangers, "My teachers came over today." I know no one cared, but it was sweet how excited he was.
The next day we went and walked through the classrooms and played on the playground. He was so excited about all of the art supplies and little play kitchens etc. I'm happy for him that his mind and creativity will be stimulated in a whole new environment.
It's also nice to know that he'll have a set routine once the baby is born. I couldn't have asked for better timing. We also finally ordered his big boy bed today. After what I think was a couple of months of research at different stores and on the internet I found the one I like the best and I found it for $155 dollars less than everywhere else it was listed. Plus we're only paying a $20 dollar shipping fee. The beds I found that you could only order online cost almost as much to have it shipped to your home. I love saving money like that.
I know I haven't written a whole lot about the baby so here's my summary in that department. I continue to feel her more and more strongly, especially in the cervix area. That didn't happen until much later last time, but I'm told with subsequent pregnancies your uterus is thinner from already being stretched. I like knowing she's active though, it helps me feel more at ease.
She's measuring on track so that's also good. I only gained a pound in the last month so that was a little weird, but I think it's because I'm not so nauseous and needing to eat constantly and just all of the stress. I tend to lose my appetite when I'm stressed.
I certainly made up for it while Neal's family was here though. We went out to the Cheesecake Factory one night. I honestly think I could call that my favorite restaurant. I had all of my favorites. For an appetizer, avocado egg rolls (to die for), then the Miso Salmon (again, to die for) and finally the peanut butter chocolate fudge ripple cheesecake. I was in hog heaven.
Finally, we have three names narrowed down. Neal likes Sarah, I like Audrey and we both like Ava (although I kind of like the spelling Eva better, but I know it would probably get mispronounced.) I'm leaning towards Audrey or Ava for the long haul. No offense to any Sarah's out there, I just want something that isn't that common. Both my grandmothers are named Audrey and I've always admired Audrey Hepburn. I like that both Audrey and Ava can't be abbreviated or turned into a nickname and they sound mature for once she's not a little girl anymore. I always try to think about what it'll be like for them to introduce themselves in a business setting when I'm thinking of names. I don't want it to be cute for now, but then have him or her feel like it's too cute as an adult if you know what I mean. I worked with a reporter who felt that way. She said she hated her name because it sounded too cutesy.
All in all, I seriously think choosing a name for another human being is really an important task. I've been online quite a bit lately looking up meanings and just staring at options.
For a while I couldn't imagine her as anything other than Audrey. But the other night I had to cover the Haylie and Hilary Duff concert for a job. That was an adventure. There were thousands of screaming girls filling the Anaheim Pond. My ears were ringing for hours afterwards. It was a little scary to me seeing the way so many of them were dressed and dancing and then to hear some of the lyrics of the songs. I would have been mortified to be a Mom there with my daughter and realize that the words in some of those songs were so inappropriate.
But that's a total side note. The reason I bring it up is with all those girls there I was getting a chance to hear all kinds of names yelled out. Someone called, "Ava" and I remembered, "Oh yea, I've always liked that name". I mentioned it to Neal and he said he thought the exact same thing that night while he was home with Jackson. Neither of us had ever talked about that name before. Hmmmmm. I've been praying for God to lead me to the right name for this little baby. I know I've rambled quite a bit now about my name dilemma, but like I said, it's an important decision I think most pregnant women can relate to.
Well, I've sneezed a few too many times and have obliterated my tissue (sorry for the visual) in the course of writing this entry. I think it's time to go hit the hay early tonight. My body is begging for me to rest. Hope everyone else is doing well.
Until next time,