JackieWell, we found out this week that it's a girl. We're both really excited. We all kind of had a...

Well, we found out this week that it's a girl. We're both really excited. We all kind of had a gut feeling, but it was confirmed finally. Everything also looked good on the ultrasound. But the perianatologist was concerned by my CMV tests and the fact that my doctor didn't order one with titers or numbers showing how strong my antibodies were. He said he thinks there's a chance it could be a primary infection because of it being borderline positive at first and then positive. He seemed really grim about it telling me he was really sorry I had to go through this. He said he wants me to come in for monthly ultrasounds and to see an infectious disease pediatric specialist for counseling, saying my options are to abort or wait. Wow. I walked out of that meeting feeling really uplifted. There's no way I'd abort, but I also hate that this is hanging over us for the remainder of the pregnancy.

Because of all this and my OB's reaction which was, "Well that's what you get for asking to be tested in the first place, now you're going to have to do all these other tests" I've decided to try to switch OB's. I know I said I loved him, but with this whole CMV thing I've progressively been feeling less and less confident. When I went to him right after my ultrasound I was in his office just thinking, I can't deliver my baby with this guy. If I'm not comfortable with him and not trusting him there's no way I'm going to be relaxed during my delivery and that's going to make for a bad experience for me and the baby.

So I'm trying to do an urgent switch before the first of September, because the OB's office I'm trying to switch to won't take new patient's in the third trimester. I've also opened up the floodgates for prayers, asking everyone I know to pray that I'm able to switch to the new OB and that this baby doesn't get the CMV virus. If it's a recurrent infection there's a 1-3 percent chance it'll be passed to the baby, but if it's a primary or first time infection there's a 40 percent chance. Then, a 10-20 percent chance something could be wrong. As I think I mentioned in an earlier entry the risks are that the baby could be born deaf, blind, retarded or die or they could be born seemingly fine, but over the first year develop any of these complications.

In my gut I honestly feel that it will be fine. That first night I was in tears, I'll be honest, but I woke up feeling like it was all going to be fine. I'm holding onto that feeling so I can enjoy this pregnancy. However, I am being proactive and am trying to make sure I have all the tests I need to do.

On a happier note, the potty training is starting to look good. Today Jackson told us he needed to go pee pee when we were in the car. We pulled into a McDonalds and I brought my travel seat in to put on top of the potty for him. He went. He did have one accident, but later that night he did his first number 2 on the potty. Those of you that don't have kids at this point yet probably don't realize the elation this brought. It was an all around party in our house. My inlaws are visiting so we were all cheering and clapping. For the past several months that we've been attempting this he has adamantly fought pooping on the potty. He has gotten to the point where he'll wait until bedtime when he has a nighttime diaper on and then go. I was ok with that, figuring he'd probably not go during the three hours he'd be in school. But this was seriously a milestone. He was so proud and so were we. I'm smiling thinking about it.

I also stopped at home depot and picked up some paint samples for the new baby's room. I'm thinking I'm going to do a pale pink just because I can. I'm holding onto the things that make me excited. I'm feeling her move so much more by the day and that makes me feel good too.

Neal and I are split on names. I've had a favorite since childhood and he's not sure about it. He has a name he likes, but I think it's too common. So, as soon as I sign off here, I'm doing a google search to start the list of ideas. I hope everyone reading this is having a wonderful pregnancy so far. I know when I hold this baby in my arms and find out she hasn't contracted the virus I'll be able to breathe a definite sigh of relief. I certainly won't take anything with her for granted. Not that I ever did with Jackson, but I think I'll handle the night waking and the colic (if it happens a second time around) and all the challenges a little better because I'll just be so grateful that all is well with her.

Until next time,

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