May 15 Second verse, same as the first.... a little bit louder and a little bit WORSE!

May 15
Second verse, same as the first....

a little bit louder and a little bit WORSE!

It's wearing me down. For the third night in a row the contractions start up at about bedtime (10-10:30), gear up all night until I give up on sleep in frustration and get up. The longer I'm up, the further apart, shorter and less intense the contractions get. I fully expect that by the time a *decent* hour rolls around I'll very much be not in labor anymore.

I'd love to know if my cervix is even progressing, but I'm afraid to call my doc. Why set myself up for the interventions right from the get-go? So instead I will vent my increasing frustration to your all-so-sympathetic ears. Maybe I'll call my doula, too (in a few hours) and cry on her shoulder. That's what I'm paying her for, after all. Please don't get tired of me! Thank you for responding with kind words of encouragement. Now, make me laugh.

Later on May 15
YES, I'm still here. (I wonder how many more times I'll be saying that??) We seem to have advanced from "false" labor to early (early, early) labor. Not doing the hospital thing yet, but the rest of life is definitely on hold for the Judd family... I am ever hopeful that my daughter will come out someday...


    - Meredith Brooks

I hate the world today.
You're so good to me, I know
But I can't change.
I tried to tell you but you
Look at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath...
Innocent and sweet.
Yesterday I cried.
Must have been relieved to see the softer side.
I can understand how you'd be so confused;
I don't envy you.
I'm a little bit of everything
all rolled into one.

Good news: I AM in labor. At about 6:30 pm my contrax picked up to every 6-7 minutes; 45 secs to 1 minute long. This has been a very long day, but not unbearable. Nothing like last time...... I called the doc on call at about 10 pm and he wanted me to go ahead and come in (huh??!). I said my membranes were still intact and I was handling the contrax ok and seeing how I wasn't even ripe at my last appt. thought I'd hang out at home a little longer. We have an hour drive, so I don't want to wait too long, but I don't want to get there too early either and get "hooked up" and whatnot. Basically, he said ok, but I didn't have to call, I could come in whenever I felt it was time.

I am drinking TONS (and pissing with a frequency nearly greater than the contractions!)

Anyway, I'm FINALLY getting excited. It's really going to happen this time! Contrax are moving ever closer and definitely gaining in intensity. About 4 minutes on avg---walking really does seem to move it along at this point; so I need to get out of this chair! Hopefully there will be an announcement soon...

May 16
Yes, I'm still here, BUT typing between intese contractions that are 3-4 min. apart. (God, I love e-mail; the distraction is better than breathing patterns. I'm sick, I know). Went to the hospital last night at 3:30 am when contrax were 2-3 min. apart, but they slowed down and became a bit irregular when I got there, dilated only to 2; 80% effaced, -1 station. Got sent home THANK GOD, because it was freezing there and I hate hate hate those monitors and that icky gel gets everywhere and I have to say that contrax seem to hurt more in the hosp. Plus I'm hungry and I can eat if I want to. Bailey is at the sitters and poor Tony is in bed right now because when we got home at 6:30 am we had not had any sleep for 24 hours. I just got up from some fitful sleep myself (4 very interrupted hours) and feel much more equipped to handle this. I was so frustrated earlier; now I'm feeling so much more optimistic and ready to take this on. Yesterday was really a long day.

Since I started typing this at 11 am, contrax have settled on 2-3 min apart and are getting ever more intense (probably because I'm up now). Still not as bad as the easiest Pit contraction. I CAN do this! Don't know when we're leaving for the hospital again as I seem to be a long laborer and even yet don't feel any urgency, but I probably won't post when we leave...

(Note: we left for the hospital at 12:30 am on 5/17/97)

To the next


recommended for you