Becoming the right person to find the person

As single ladies, sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the search for the right person. And in that quest, you forget that your perfect guy is also searching for his Mrs. Right as well.

So why not use this single time to work towards becoming the right kind of gal yourself?

It’s so easy to lose your focus when you’re single. You see hot guys everywhere and you can’t help but hope, “Oh, dear Jesus, please let it be him!”

And so in all your available single free time, you look.

For Him.

You spend your time at ‘da club. (Is that what you call it these days?) You spend your time setting up online dating profiles. You spend your time in singles groups, coffee shops and then more dating and dating and dating. And you fill your days with the hunt for the perfect guy to come and fit just right into your life.

OK. So we get that maybe it’s not always exactly like this. But what we’re trying to get at is this: Maybe with some of that free time on your hands, you do a little prep work on becoming the right person for that just right guy.

And because we like to take away practical tips that our best friends (or therapist/life coach) would give, here are a few things you can start doing now that just might make you become even more desirable for the soon to be man in your life.

Figure out who you are and what you stand for

There’s a saying that goes, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” So use this time of your life to figure out what it is you stand for and who exactly you are. This is vitally important so that as you date and meet guys, you won’t be finding yourself changing for them. And not only does this make your life easier, but the right guy will absolutely adore you for it.

Be authentic and love yourself for it

Surprisingly, the key to truly finding happiness is not in getting married or finally finding your perfect guy. But a key toward lasting happiness is learning to accept how you were created, and love yourself in spite of whatever faults you may think you have. It takes work, we know. It may even take therapy (we also know), but it is so worth it. Confidence and authenticity go a long way in life, love and relationships.

“…I think what it comes down to is being authentic, loving myself and giving someone else the space to be their authentic selves and love them as they are.” -Dana S.

To that we say, preach it sista!

Accept that life is sometimes not fair

This is a tough lesson to learn at any age. (Ask a toddler, they’ll tell you.) But the sooner you learn and accept the true fact of life, the easier your current and future relationships will be.

“Life isn’t fair, as we all know, and neither are relationships. There are seasons when one gives more than the other, and seasons when giving is reciprocal.” –Laurie Wallin, Life Coach

Cultivate your interests

“Try new things! A great spouse is an interesting person.” –Kassi M.

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves. Get out there and get busy having FUN! Take a dance class, go skydiving, try gardening or sign up for a half marathon. Whatever it may be that sparks your interest, get out there and try it! Bonus if you meet a hot guy in the process!

Get your patience on

We’re not entirely sure exactly how to go about becoming more patient (yoga perhaps? babysitting?), but we can tell you that a patient person will go far in marriage and in parenting. Plus, by being patient, you might just win over the man of your dreams. Take it from this guy, “My girl was patient enough to love me into a better person. Ended up marrying that girl.” -Kyle H., Worship Pastor

And most importantly, work on being teachable

In order to truly be successful in your future marriage, you have to realize that no matter how much prep work you may have done in your single days, you still (and always will) have more work to do.

“You have to always be willing to learn and always be willing to change, because you can’t count on being able to change your spouse. So, if you want things in your relationship to change, start with yourself.” -Jimmy Saldana, (author’s husband)

Well said, good husband, well said.

Becoming the right person to find the person

Summer Saldana