If you’ve been meaning to get new friends for some time now, let us help you out with that! Here are five moves to make if you want your current flock of females to flee.
Only make plans with your girls when your boyfriend is out of town
So you haven’t seen the ladies in weeks, but when your guy has a business trip coming up, you’re texting them like crazy to see if they want to grab sushi. Hmmm, that sounds suspect. Your crew will know when they obviously come second.
Easy fix: Even if you’d rather be lounging on the couch with your man watching a Game of Thrones marathon, force yourself to make plans with friends at least once every two weeks (if not once a week). (Or watch GoT with them instead.) A nice bonus: The more plans you have, the more intriguing you’ll be to your guy. If anything, you and he will have something to talk about when you get together next.
Jabber about yourself at all times
Nothing’s better than a marathon phone sesh with your BFF, but if you’re talking about yourself 90 percent of the time, there’s not much in it for her. Careful, or she’ll leave the conversation feeling unfulfilled, and worse, emotionally unheard.
Easy fix: Identify the one thing you’ve been known to prattle on about. We all have something! Your mind-numbing job maybe? Or your terrible luck with online dating? Give her the highlights, and circle back to the main concern she had the last time you talked. She’ll appreciate the fact that you listened.
Say “we,” referring to your guy, whenever you’re talking about you
Oh, that restaurant? We loved it! And the new apartment? We love it too! Goals for the future? We want to move to the suburbs! Couple talk: so exhausting and majorly annoying — especially if your friends are single.
Easy fix: Focus on the things that make you different from your main squeeze. Maybe you love to work out but he’s not a gym rat, or you’re obsessed with Fellini films and he’s more into Judd Apatow flicks. Try to separate yourself from the relationship when you’re gabbing with your group. It’s the differences between two people that make a relationship click — and your friends love you for who you are, not for what you share with your man.
Sell anyone out when it benefits you
Say one of your girlfriends has sworn you to secrecy about something — a crush, work personnel issues, her behavior at a certain crazy party 10 years ago — and you suddenly find yourself wanting to give up the goods to get… something. A plum new job, attention from a guy or just to take her down a peg. If you do it, prepare for her to never trust you again or end your friendship. No one likes a two-faced so-called pal.
Easy fix: When someone pressures you to share information that you’d rather not, simply say, “I’d actually prefer that we didn’t discuss that — I know you understand” or “Kari is my best friend, so I’d rather keep our conversation about her positive.”
Brag about your awesomeness
Yep, it’s totally cool that you went to a hot new restaurant or met a semi-famous celebrity or that your boss loves you. But if you find yourself name-dropping to sound important or extolling your best qualities like you’re in a job interview, it could prompt some major eye-rolling from your buddies.
Easy fix: Think: If you were friends with you, would you be annoyed with your behavior? If so, tone the boasting down a bit — you don’t have to self-deprecate to fit in, but you can practice the art of humility by letting everyone else talk about how great you are. Then you can smile, say thank you and move on to the next subject.
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